I don't believe in love
by Kate Jaymez
Summary: It's the 25th Hunger Games and Coral Snow gets chosen to be a tribute. She wouldn't mind, except that it was her one true love who sent her. Feeling hurt and betrayed, things only get worse when her mom, Lindy, turns out not to be who Coral thinks she is.
1. I don't believe in love

I don't believe in love

Summary: Its the 25 Hunger Games and each tribute is chosen by their town. Coral wouldn't mind being sent in, except that it was her one love who sent her

Coral dropped her towel and looked in the mirror. She felt so repulsed by what she saw. She glanced back out of her open window, and when she finally turned back to her mirror, she hit it so hard with her fist that it split. But not even her distorted image couldn't hide all the dots and swirls that covered her from the neck down. The mirror couldn't hide the blue gloss of her hair either.

Coral's mom was from the Capitol. Coral's mom moved from the Capitol when Coral was just a baby. Coral only lived in the Capitol for a week, but that was long enough for her mother, a past stylist from the Games, to cover her with golden tattoos. It was these tattoos that never allowed Coral to fit in with the other District 12 kids. Coral always had to we a long-sleeved turtle-neck shirts and long pants. She had to cover her hair too.

Everyone knew Coral was different. They weren't stupid, and almost all of them had already figured out that she had no relatives in District 12. Because her mother never even stepped outside her front door, no one had considered that Coral was from the Capitol. If her mom had revealed herself, it would've been a dead giveaway.

Coral's mom, Lindy, had fluorescent orange skin and hot pink hair that clashed terribly. Her eyes were the color of sulphite and all her nails were heart shaped. She was very pretty, mind you, but her whole appearance spelt "CAPITOL" in big letters. Coral didn't have a very good relationship with her mother.

Coral couldn't understand why they moved and why she was forced to try and "blend in" with the people of District 12. It just didn't make sense.

"Coral!" She heard her mom scream from downstairs. "Markus is at the door!"

She grabbed the first thing my fingers touched and put it on. The she ran downstairs, still yanking a brush through her hair. She had just gotten to the front door when she heard a delicate cough from behind her.

"What is it Mom?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

"Your pants are too short and your hair is still down. You can't go out in public like that!"

"Relax, Mom. It's just Markus, he knows already."

But her Mom's face was already set in lines of determination and Coral had no choice but to go upstairs and change her pants. As she walked down the stairs, she pinned her hair up and secured it beneath a toque.

"Satisfied?" She asked her Mom sarcastically as she marched through the door and right into Markus' arms.

"Sorry Markus" She mumbled against his chest.

"It's fine" He chuckled 'Let's go."

The walked for about an hour in silence until they reached the Garden. Plants, let alone flowers, seldom grew in District 12, so the Garden was quite a miracle. Markus and Coral had helped water it when it was just beginning to grow and since then, they claimed it was officially _their_ garden. They walked through the maze of flowers and hedges until they finally reached their destination: the pond. The pond was more like a huge puddle of dirty water, but what was so incredible about it was that there were actually water-lilies on it. The lilies were about the size of a small child's hand and they were deep ruby in color. Coral and Markus often used them to send notes to each other. Even now, Coral could see a lily stuffed with a piece of paper.

Markus noticed her gaze on the lily and he nudged her playfully.

"Come on" He whispered gently "open it"

Hr hand reached out unthinkingly and stroked what wasn't a piece of paper, but a small polished white box.

She shimmied the box out of the lily and ten held the box for a moment in her palm before she opened it.

"Oh" She breathed.

Inside the box was a small gold band with intricate little designs carved on it. It took Coral a moment to place them as the same dots and swirls that were imprinted on her body. That's right, Coral remembered, he knows about my tattoos.

Coral's first impulse was that the ring was a wedding ring. _Oh my gosh, _she thought, _he's proposing._

It wasn't that much of a surprised, really. Recently, Coral had started half wishing, half expecting for him to ask her. The had know each other for over ten years, they'd been dating for five and sixteen seemed like a reasonable age to get married at. She was so excited and her spirits were so high, until Markus spoke and brought her back to reality.

``It's pretty, eh? I hoped you'd like it. I thought it would match your reaping outfit perfectly, and I know you don't have much jewellery"

She felt her spirits come plummeting down. Of course he just wanted her to look pretty at the reaping tomorrow, of course he didn't want to marry her. She had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from crying.

_You're so stupid, _she told herself.

"You okay?" Markus asked lifting her chin so that they looked each other in the eyes.

"Yeah" She coughed, trying desperately to keep it together. "jjjust fffeeling kkkind off sssick"

\She couldn't help but stutter.

"Sick? Oh, come on Coral! The reaping is tomorrow and you're _sick_?"

Without waiting for her reply, he shook his head disbelievingly and then swooped her up in his arms. Once she was slung over his back and he couldn't see her face, she let all her tears go.

By the time they got home, she was drained and she actually did feel a bit sick. Markus dropped her off at her house and then commanded her to get better. He kissed her parched lips quickly, and then he was gone.

She crawled through the door and then collapsed onto the smooth marble of the entryway. She woke up twelve hours later in the exact same spot. She barely felt like moving until she saw the clock and realized she had about six minutes to get to Town square before the reaping began. She didn't even bother to brush her hair or shower. She pulled her dress on hastily (don't worry it covered her whole body), tied her tangled mane into a bun, slipped on her shoes and ran out the door. She covered her hair with a bandana at the last minute and then she took off running. You can imagine her shock when she arrived to town square and there were no dividers set up, and everyone in the town sat in one giant circle in the square.

With confusion clear on her face, she squished between two twelve year old girls and sat down.

The mayor, Mr Everest, eyed Coral distastefully before he hushed the crowd and turned everyone to a large screen adorned with the face of Mr A. Prewett, the president of Panem.

"I'm sure all of you are surious as to why there are no reaping balls this year" Mr Prewett began. "The reason is quite simple. Every twenty-five years we will have the Quarter Quell, a very special version of the Hunger Games. Every Quarter Quell will be different, but for this one we will chose a new method for picking tributes." This caught some attention. "This year, we asked the town to chose one girl and one boy to participate. We ask that all citizens get to vote for who they will send. Thank you for time, and _may the odds ever be in your favour!"_

That was it. The presidents announcement was met with only silence.

"Ahem" Mr Everest called tentatively. 'I guess you now see what we must do. I ask all the children to report up onto the stage while we decide who should go."

She scrambled up onto the stage with shaky legs. The adults were all discussing intently, and even though she knew she wouldn't be chosen, she couldn't help but feel nervous for the other girls. To district herself, she tried to pick her mother out of the crowd. After awhile, she managed to find her standing between to bulkier looking men. She had painted her skin an ugly gray-pink color and her hair was died a darker shade of murky yellow. She had managed to hide all her tattoos.

Suddenly, the president looked up with a painted smile and they all braced ourselves for what was coming. Her mom caught her eyes and jerked her chin, meaning that Coral was safe. Coral let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"For the boys," Mr Everest started "we will have Dawson Benedict"

She wrinkled her nose and watched in distaste as Dawson moved his way to the edge of the stage. He was only twelve, and she should of pitied him, but instead she found herself glad he was leaving. He was one of those poor boys who came begging at the door and who was always very dirty-looking. District 12 wouldn't miss him.

"And for the girls we have Zalia Wilkins"

Zalia, a girl who Coral had never noticed before in her life, stepped forward. She was about fourteen and she was unnaturally skinny, and very pale and sallow-looking. She wore big half-moon spectacles and she was very geeky looking. Very filthy looking too. She was ugly.

"Excuse me, sir" I heard a familiar voice contradict. "I don't think you should send Zalia"

"And why not?" The mayor asked. If it were anyone else, he would have said "shut-up", but because it was Markus, he was all ears. Everyone loved and respected Markus.

"Because, she's too weak. Both of them are too weak. District 12 never wins the Games because we are too weak. Before, it wasn't our fault, but this year we have a chance. If we send in some of our stronger people, we could win."

MR Everest considered that for moment.

"Alright, so we send you. Who else?"

"Mr Everest!" Markus cried "your missing the point! I look strong, if you send me, they'll kill me off right away. No, you have to send someone who's small, but strong. Cute and pretty, but not extraordinary. Someone who's different from everyone and yet who blends in perfectly. You have to send in someone who no one will classify as a threat, someone who's smart and can play their cards properly without being noticed. Someone who-"

"And where do you propose we find this person?" Mr Everest asked, cutting Markus off.

"That's the easy part, sir" Markus laughed politely "We already have her. Her name is Coral Snow"

**So, what do you think? This chapter was more of introduction, just to show y our where everyone stands. The next chapter will be up soon and it will be 10X better… I promise!**

**Here's you quote from the next chapter:**

"_Why didn't you tell me? I told you everything, I thought you loved me. Obviously not. I'm going to die because of you!"_

**And:**

"_I hate you too!"_

**So, please review!**

**KATE**


	2. Do what I do

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! So, here's your chapter, just like I promised! PS: I'm writing the rest of the story in first person. Sorry!**

Chapter 2

I just stood there in shock. I felt every singly pair of eyes turn on me. I felt naked under their gaze.

Suddenly all gazes shifted from me to Mr Everest. I missed the first part of what he was saying, but it's not hard to guess.

"-where he comes up with this stuff. I must wholeheartedly agree. Is there anyone her who thinks differently? Don't be shy."

I stared right at my mom. _Please_, I begged her using only my eyes. I willed her arm to go up and for her voice to protect me, but it didn't. Her arm stayed down and her mouth stayed shut.

Before I had a chance to react, strong arms grabbed me around the waist and pulled me toward town hall. Dawson was getting similar treatment.

Once inside, they shoved me into an ugly room with flower-patterned walls. The first person to visit me was Markus.

He walked in slowly and grasped my hands. He looked close to tears.

"I'm going to miss you" He whispered shakily.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked, hating the vicious note in my voice. After all, my anger was not for the boy sitting opposite me, but for the woman who didn't stick up for her own daughter.

"I, I, I knew you could do it."

"Do what?"

"Win. You're the only person in this town who could win."

"I'm no even from here! Or have you forgot?"

I pulled up my sleeve to reveal a swirly gold tattoo of the Capitol emblem.

"Cover that up" He snarled.

I yanked my sleeve back down and narrowed my eyes at him. Where was this anger coming from? I had no reason to be mad at Markus. Markus loved me… or did he?

"I haven't forgot, Coral. Don't you realize? You can act like one of those Capitol bozos and your just as pretty. You could easily win their heart. This is your chance to shine Coral!"

"What if I don't want to go?" I took a deep breath and all the words began to pour out uncontrolled. "What if it I want to stay here and marry you and have a normal life? How can I do any of that if I'm dead?"

"You want to get married?"

"You don't?" I cried hysterically.

"No!" He covered smoothly "I mean yes, of course I want to get married. It's just that, well, you've been growing distant lately and I was starting to think you stopped loving me. I've wanted to propose, I was just scared you'd say no."

"Of course I'd say yes! Yes! Yes! Ye-"

"We can't get married yet" He said. "Oh, no. You have to win the Games first. Understand?"

I nodded mutely.

"You go and win the Games. You'll get really rich and when you come back we'll get married. Okay?"

"But I don't want to kill the other tributes"

"You have to. Please, Coral. Kill them all for me. Just throw your knife and think of me. C'mon Coral, don't be afraid. Just throw your knife and think of me"

_Just throw your knife and think of me. _I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Time's up!" Someone called.

Markus walked out silently.

"Hello Coral" A thin feminine voice greeted.

"Lindy"

I didn't feel like calling her "mom".

"Honey, I think you should know that there was nothing I could do. One vote wouldn't change anything."

"It would've changed _everything_ to me"

"Well that's why I'm telling you now. I'm sure you'll survive, your father did." That perked my interest.

"Hmm?"

"Your father, Coriolanus Snow. He was from District 2 and he was forced into the Games at fifteen. He almost died several times, but in the end he just had _it_. He won after only a week."

"_Only_ a week?"

"Yes. Only a week. Most Games last months or more"

She gave me a moment to ponder that and then I had to ask the question that had been burning inside me my whole life.

"Lindy, tell me the truth. Why did we move to District 12?"

I had thought, after all this sharing and bonding that she would actually answer me. I couldn't be more wrong.

"I just wanted a change of scenery" She repeated half-heartedly.

I screamed and grabbed the edge of my chair. My nails ripped thorough the soft silk of the lining easily. It was all I could do from attacking my mom.

Don't' get me wrong, I'm not usually a violent person, but my mom is the reason I have no friends and the reason my life is the way it is. She's the reason I can never wear a dress like the other girls why I can't curl or dye my hair. Why I'm not allowed in public in summer and why, before today, I never even knew my father's name. She's the reason I'm always s alone at town meeting and events and because of her, I've had to face all the bullying and abuse alone. She never intervenes with my life and never stand up for me. She never cooks dinner or washes my clothes. She does nothing to comfort me when I'm sad and she doesn't buy me a birthday cake on my birthday. She never answers my questions and I've never learned anything about my past of my ancestry. She's ruined my life and will she even answer my one and only question about my life? No!

"Coral, I've wanted to tell you so many times but, it just hurt too much"

That's when I snapped.

"Does it hurt too much to smile at me in the morning? Or to help cook dinner every once in a while? Does it hurt too much to say "Happy Birthday" once a year? "Does it hurt to help me with my homework or to clean my wounds when I get hurt? Do you feel pain if you try to stand up for me when I'm being bullied? Does it hurt too much to say "Good Luck" when your only child is sent off to die? Huh? Does it?"

"Yes" She whimpered. "It hurts"

"You're always hiding things from me! Why didn't you tell me? I told you everything. I thought you loved me. Obviously not. I'm going to die because you!"

"You hate me!"

"No! Coral ,please! I-"

"Well, you know what? I hate you too!"

"Please-"

Just go Lindy!" I screamed. "Get away from me! I've had enough! Just go! "

She walked out rubbing her eyes with her sleeve. I just wanted to be alone, but of course that wasn't possible.

Next thing I knew, I was being carried into a train and the dropped onto a padded bench. I didn't have any of my possessions, but I didn't care. I feel asleep quickly in the dim compartment.

"Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap."

Someone was knocking on my door.

"Tap. Tap."

I wanted to scream for the tapper to go away, but my throat was as dry as sandpaper. It felt like sandpaper too. I opened my eyes groggily and saw a young girl about my age with soft blonde hair that looked like chick feathers all over her head. Hey eyes were dark blue with lighter blue highlights. I couldn't help but notice that she looked familiar.

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Lunch" She mouthed.

"No" I replied rolling over.

"Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.-"

"Fine" I growled getting up. I barely reached my feet when my head started spinning and I fell over onto the floor again.

The girl was waving her hand for me to get up, but I just didn't have the energy to get up again.

"No energy" I muttered into the carpet.

I heard the glass door slide open and then the girl was standing right beside me. She tapped me on the shoulder and then handed me something long and rectangular. I reached out and felt thin plastic,, but my groggy brain couldn't figure out what it was.

The girl rolled her eyes and then peeled away the plastic to reveal a big chunk of half-melted chocolate. I stared at her in surprise.

"Where'd you get this?" I asked biting into the soft chocolate.

She put her fingers to her lips. It was a gesture that meant "shh or "Don't tell anyone"

I shook my head and smiled at her. It probably looked gross because I still had a mouthful of chocolate, but I couldn't help it. As soon as I had enough of the sugar in my bloodstream I stood up and thanked the girl graciously. I handed her back what was left of the chocolate, but she just threw it into the little fire-place in the compartment. I watched it burn in fascination before I turned back to her. She pointed to herself and then to me, and then she put her finger on her lips again. Her silent language was clearer than any verbal communication could've been.

"It's our secret"

**So… what did you think? Good? Bad? Let me know.**

**Here's your quote:**

"_You murderer! You killed her! You killed Emilie! You killed my sister! I hate you! I hate you! Go away! Get away from me!"_

**And, because I so admire you guys:**

"_I love you Coral"_

**And you know what you need to do to get the next chapter, right? I thought so. **

**I'll leave you to your task.**

**KATE**


	3. Whatever you say

I walked down the hall with sugar buzzing in my veins. The blonde girl walked beside me quietly. _She doesn't talk much, _I thought to myself.

After awhile, we came to a large doorway. The girl motioned to it and nodded her head. She turned to walk away.

"Thank you" I smiled.

She nodded and then disappeared behind the corner. I took a deep breath before I walked through the door. The smile slipped off my face automatically. I could already feel the sugar evaporating, leaving me drained. _That didn't last long._

Inside there were only two people: Flora Fraser, the Capitol Rep, and Dawson.

"Hi" I muttered as a sat down across from both of them. I grabbed a piece of bread and ripped it savagely with my teeth. The looked up from their conversation curiously.

"Hello Coral" Flora said politely. Flora had aquamarine hair and matching eyes. Her skin was tinged blue green.

"Hi" I repeated gruffly, mouth full of bread. I wasn't in the mood to be polite.

I turned to Dawson, and he didn't say anything. And then it clicked.

I began to choke violently on my bread. My eyes welled up with tears and my head started pounding.

"Coral, what's wrong?" Flora asked sounding distressed.

I didn't answer, instead I turned an alarming shade of blue. I opened my mouth, but no breath would come.

"Medics!" Flora screamed shrilly. "Medics, quick! She's dying! Help! Somebody please! Help her!"

There was an ominous pause that felt like it stretched on forever. Then, the doors boomed open and a group of people in white uniforms rushed in. They hit me in the chest and instead of hurting, I felt my

airways open up. They hit me again and I managed to suck in a lungful of air.

I turned my head slightly to thank Flora, and realized that it wasn't Flora who had spoken, it was Dawson. Of course this just caused another fit of choking. A fresh round of tears rolled down my cheeks and my vision became blurred. My headaches became worse than ever. It felt like there were small people banging as hard as the could on the inside of my head. With knives. And torches. And clubs. And…

Suddenly I was no longer in the train, but back in the garden all those years ago.

I came skipping into the garden with big smile stretched across my face. Tucked under my arm was a small cardboard box, wrapped in tinfoil. It was for Markus.

It was March 15th and I planned to give Markus his best birthday ever. I got up extra early and bought one of those little cupcakes from the bakery. It was carefully iced in red with small swirls of red liquorice from the candy shop. A big "M" made of black liquorice was placed directly in the center of cupcake. Cupcakes were a big treat in District 12 and so was candy. I probably spent way over my budget on the little cake for Markus, but it didn't really matter to me. Markus would love it.

I had almost reached the pond, when I heard a someone giggle. The giggle definitely did _not_ belong to Markus. I skirted around the edged of the bushes until I could clearly see the giggler.

It was a small boy about seven or eight years old with soft blonde hair. His big doe eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue I had ever seen. Beside him sat a girl who could only be his sister.

She was a bit older than him, about my age, and she was wearing a very pretty dress. Her hair was tied up with a long rose-colored ribbon. She kept throwing big handfuls of rose petals up into the air and he brother would dance in them, smiling and giggling. She threw rose petals in his hair and onto his clothes and they clung to him as if they were glued. He ran into her arms and she held him lovingly. I couldn't" help but notice that she treated him almost like her son, and he looked up to her like his mother.

I didn't have a mother.

I stepped forward to try and get a better look at their face and a twig snapped. The girl changed from cradling her brother lovingly to shielding him protectively with her body.

"Get away" She snarled. She sounded tough, but I couldn't help but notice that her words were under laced with fear and vulnerability. _She's scared of me_, I realized.

"It's fine" I whispered, willing her to believe me "I'm not going to hurt you"

She seemed to look me over carefully before she gently let her brother out of her arms.

"Just play in the roses for a second, 'kay?" She whispered to him, pretending I couldn't hear.

"Okay, Emmy" He smiled, quickly hugging her before he disappeared behind a rose bush.

She turned to me slowly.

"Emilie" She breathed, holding out her hand to me.

"Coral" I smiled, grasping her hand.

Suddenly I was flipped over onto my back and Emilie had me pinned by my arm.

"I don't know what you're playing at" She growled, shoving me into the ground. "But stay away from my brother."

"I'm not playing at anything!" I shrieked.

She quickly covered my mouth.

"Shut up!"

I looked at her in confusion.

"If he comes back and sees us like this, he'll get scared. He's finally calming down.`

I raised my eyebrows. She rolled off me, exhausted.

"I'm sorry. It's just, well, he's really a gentle soul and I couldn't bear if he got hurt. He didn't want to come out her, you see, because he knows that no one's supposed to come out here, but I convinced him." SH took a deep breath "You're not going to rat me out to the Peacekeepers, are you?"

"Nah" I shook my head.

"Thanks. Do you mind if I call my brother back?"

"Sure"

I expected her to call out her brothers name or something, but instead she just started to sing. It was a beautiful song, very simple, but very pretty. It was the type of song that soothed you, but it was song that you never believed could come out of a human mouth. It sounded like a bird song.

At the end of her song, she stopped and waited. He didn't reply and he didn't come running around the corner.

She opened her mouth to call him, but she was cut off by a terrible sound. The sound of a young boy screaming. The scream was followed by a maniacal laugh.

Emilie recognized her brothers scream and took off running, I recognized the laugh and ran to catch up with her.

"Stop!" I panted, catching up to her. "You're going the wrong way, I know where he is!"

She nodded, thinking that "he" was her brother.

"Quickly!" I yelled, pushing myself farther.

I suddenly stopped when I came to entrance of the pond. The sight was more horrific than I had imagined. Markus had his hands around the boy's throat and he was strangling him while pushing him deep into the pond.

I was frozen.

Then, the boy was free and Markus was being tackled to the ground by Emilie. I grabbed the shivering boy out of the pond and tried to warm him up. He watched his sister and Markus grapple, horror-stricken.

Emilie had grabbed a stick and she was whipping Markus with it. I was sure that Markus didn't feel much though, he'd been whipped before. Emilie was finally starting to win when Markus smirked at her and then started screaming.

"HELP!" HE yelled at the top of his lungs. "HELP ME! PLEASE! HELP!"

A string of more yells followed this and there was nothing to do when the Peacekeepers arrived. Except push the boy underneath the hedge and tell him to keep quiet.

The Peacekeeper took one look at Emilie before they shot her with some drug to knock her out. As they dragged her away, Markus snapped her gold-chain necklace off her neck and then he shoved it in his pocket. Medics sewed up Markus' cuts and then took him away. They offered to drive me home too, but I said I'd rather walk.

They left and I'd almost forgotten the small boy's existence until he popped up from underneath the bush and he tackled me. I was too surprised to fight back.

"What are you doing?" I asked dumbstruck.

"You murderer! You killed her! You killed Emilie! You killed my sister! I hate you! I _hate_ you! Go away! Get away from me!"

He became hysterical and cried hard. He punched me in the face and in the gut and in the arms… and I didn't try to stop him. I just let him beat me until I fell unconscious. When I woke up, the boy was gone and I was in Markus' arms. He kisses my forehead and then tied Emilie's necklace around my neck.

I opened my mouth to protest and to yell at him but he silenced me with words he had never said before.

"I love you Coral"

We started dating then, and I had temporarily forgotten the whole deal with Emilie and her brother. What could I do? I loved Markus and he loved me. We were perfect together.

**Hey! What's up? Like it? I hope so. Please, please, please review! The next chapter's going to be a good one! I've put a lot of thought into it. Just to show you, here's your quote:**

"_But she's not even physically sick. Lay her off the morphling, she'll come around. Don't even think about drugging her before the Games. She's not crazy!"_

**And, because I love you guys:**

_She helped me up and I found myself facing a young woman who looked like she had been pushed through a cheese grater._

**Please review! I'm warning you, next chapter will be a bit shorter, but just as good! I'll see you next chapter! Bye!**

**KATE**


	4. With or Without you

I woke up covered in cold sweat.

I was lying in a bed I'd never seen before in my life. There were no pillows and no blankets on the bed, they were all on the floor. The only thing that covered my body was a thin sheet. The windows were clamped shut and I couldn't find the door. The room was as plain as a broom closet. To keep myself occupied, I started to count each thread in the sheets

"One, two, three, four, five, six , seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven , twelve, _AH_!"

Abruptly I started screaming. The sheets were patterned with rose-petals.

Medics rushed in and tried to calm me down.

"_AH! AH! AH! AH!"_

_I killed Emilie. I killed Emilie. I killed Emilie. I killed Emilie. I killed Emilie._

It was stupid really, of course _I_ didn't kill Emilie. But it was my fault that Dawson left Emilie, my fault that Dawson ran into Markus, my fault he screamed, my fault we found and saved him, my fault that they took Emilie. It's my fault she's an Avox. _I killed Emilie. I killed Emilie. I killed-_

"CORAL! Calm down!"

I felt a stinging blow across my face as someone tried to bring me around.

`NO!`I roared "Let me die! I have to die! I killed her! I killed Emilie! KILL ME!

I heard someone take a deep breath. "No Coral, I won't kill you. But they will. Soon you'll be in the Games and they'll kill you, don't worry."

Somehow these words comforted me.

I heard the comforting voice talk to the Medics. They were arguing about something.

"But she's not even physically sick. Lay her off the morphling, she'll come around. Don't even think about drugging her before the Games. She's not crazy!"

"But-"

"Just go"

I heard the door slam shut and then suddenly there was weight on the left side of my bed.

"Coral" I heard the gentle voice urge. "Let's talk"

"Ugh"

"C'mon" She helped me up and I found myself facing a young woman who looked like she had been pushed through a cheese grater.

Her hair was less than one centimetre short and there wasn't one patch of skin on her that wasn't scarred. Her hands were rough and her skin was pulled so tight over her bones that it looked two sizes too small. Her eyelashes were jagged, uneven and hardly there, but her eyes were simply stunning. In the middle, her eyes were brown, but they slowly morphed into a green and around the edges of her eyes, the green became a deep sea blue. She looked old, but she had this inner light that suggested she was younger than she looked.

"I'm Juniper" She said smiling down at me. I couldn't help but notice her teeth were chipped and crooked.

"Juniper" I repeated, testing the word in my mouth. It sounded familiar…

"It's a mouthful, isn't it? You can just call me June, if you like. June Violetson."

"June Violetson! You were a tribute for District 12! They say you died!"

She smiled. "I was as good as dead. I was in surgery on and off for the past five years, they finally let me out so that I could mentor you for the Games, but it was a close call"

"You're my mentor?"

She nodded.

"You're my hero! You volunteered for me for me five years ago. Remember? I was twelve and it was my first reaping and you _volunteered for me._ You saved my life and then you won and everyone thought you were dead and then-"

"Don't worry kid" She shook her head "I remember. Sorry I couldn't volunteer for you this time"

She smiled and then mock punched me in the arm.

"But you'll do fine, right? You'll win it all."

"What about Dawson?"

"He'll win too."

I rolled my eyes at her and tried to lie down.

"Whoa, Coral, what are you doing? We have to get back to work, c'mon!"

She lifted me out of my bed and carried me out into the hall.

I think she opened the door with her teeth. Scary.

She then walked into the kitchen and sat down on one of their pristine countertops. She tossed me an apple.

"Okay, so here's how it goes. I ask you a question and try and find you an angle for your interview. Then you can ask me a question about the games. Cool?"

She didn't wait for me to answer.

"Okay Coral, tell me about your family."

_Did she have to start with this question?_

"Um, I used to live with my mom."

"_Used_ to live with your mom?"

"Sorry" I smirked "Time's up. Juniper Violetson…"

But suddenly I felt drained. I didn't want to talk about my complicated life and I definitely did not want to ask her about the games. I just wanted to push the Hunger Games as far away as possible. Pretend I didn't get picked, pretend it wasn't Markus who picked me, pretend I wouldn't be dead in a few weeks time…

"Whoa, Coral! It's okay!" She reached out to comfort me, but I pushed her away.

I didn't want this ugly scarred up woman, I didn't want her comfort or her questions, I just wanted to run away.

"Get away from me!" I screamed.

I ran out the door and all the way into the back of the train. I shoved myself into a compartment and then yanked the blinds down. I kicked off my shoes my sweater and used them to jam the door shut. Then I lifted up the window as far as it would go. _I just need some fresh air_, I told myself. But I couldn't fool myself for long, the moment the window was open high enough, I climbed on the seat an launched myself out of it.

**So… I know this chapter is shorter than the others, but it's got you thinking, right? I hope you like this, I really do! **

**Quotation:**

_I hit the ground and left the world that had never really meant anything to me. Finally I was free._

**So PLEASE review! The next chapter has many alternate paths and I think you'll like it. You won't want to miss it. You know what you need to do to get it though, don't you?**

**KATE**


	5. When I fall

The fall lasted forever. By the time I hit the ground, I had memorized every stone of the gravel road and felt every wisp of wind across my face. At the last minute, I wondered if I had made the right decision But then I remembered my last conversation with my mom and I just wished the ground would come sooner. I couldn't wait to leave, there was nothing left to tie me to the Earth.

I would surely die in the arena, that much I knew for true, and I was sure that everyone else in the world knew it too. Markus knew it, he had to, or else he would have proposed to me before I left for the Games. Instead, he said we'd get married when I came home. _Stupid Markus._ It took me ten years, but I finally realized that Markus didn't love me at all. He always had a way to twist everything he did wrong so that it was my fault and so that I felt bad. HE only told me he loved me once, and that was to distract me so that I wouldn't tell everyone that he had attempted murder. He always gave new gifts, but in hindsight I realize he only gave me gifts to keep me loving him. A stone dropped out of my stomach and I realized that Markus never loved me and I've never actually loved him. It was a façade that we both wore and now, right before I die, I've finally seen through it.

Apart from my mom and Markus there's no one else that I thought I loved. I had no ties left to the Earth and I couldn't wait to leave. I felt like I'd discovered a new me and I'd become the person who I really am. I would only be the true Coral Snow for a few moments on Earth, but I'd live my whole after life as the person I should. It was this realisation that had me almost diving into the gravel. Hitting the ground was almost a relief. Until the pain came.

I immediately felt a row of fire flare up on my left side and it burned and consumed everything in it's path. After mere seconds (or what felt like hours to me) I was completely on fire and everything inside and outside me was burning. Everything turned red and I shut my eyes quickly so my mind could come up with a prettier image than the whole world smeared with my blood. I was not disappointed.

My mind created everything beautiful, and gave me a piece of heaven on Earth. Moonlight boat rides on a still river. Trees that reach toward the sky. Summer sunsets where nothing can reach you. Being able to fly. Diamond dew-drops on silver spider webs. Golden suns that spread warmth. And flowers, ton so flowers. Lilies and daisies and daffodils. And an angel holding out a rose. A rose.

_I killed Emilie._

Suddenly I was Coral Snow again, and I was a murderer and a broken girl who had just attempted suicide. The pain, both the physical and emotional, was too much and I let out one involuntary scream and waited until everything became blissfully dark and quiet. Using the last of my strength, I dragged myself up so that I could feel my last breath leave my lungs for the last time.

I hit the ground and left the world that had never really meant anything to me. Finally I was free.

When I woke I knew that I no longer belonged to Earth. My skin was silky smooth and I felt perfect in every aspect. I was not clothed, but for once I wasn't ashamed of my body. My usually up and hidden hair was splayed in every direction but it was so light I hardly noticed it. I couldn't remember my name or who I was, but I didn't care because now I was a perfect angel and nothing really mattered.

"It's time to go" I heard a small voice chime. I turned to face a small angel with soft blonde hair and blue doe eyes. I smiled at him and found that it didn't hurt. I couldn't remember what "pain" was.

"Alright" I whispered. I loved my voice, it was soft and gentle and musical. I loved his voice too. I loved everything.

He reached out to me and I was about to grasp his hand when a strange unnatural beeping started. It was cold and sharp and did not belong in this glorious place.

"Come quick" He whispered urgently "Come stay with me"

"I will" I promised trying to reach him. But every beep tore me farther and farther apart from the little angel.

"Don't leave me" I heard him cry.

"No!"

"Don't ever leave me" His voice was becoming distant.

"I won't" I yelled, to make sure he could hear me "I promise!"

And with that, I woke up.

I felt so cold and sterile in the steel contraption they had chained me too. They had torn me down from heaven and thrown me straight down into hell. And if hell had a voice, it was most definitely the one that spoke to me craving for my pardon.

"I'm so sorry, Coral" She whimpered.

_Coral_. Ew, my name's Coral.

"I forgot what it's like to be in the Games! Oh my gosh, this is my first time as a mentor and I didn't know what to do. I should've known but still…"

"and then you tried to kill yourself! I should have known that you would do something like this, you're so like me. And I know I should scold you, but I can't and I'm so glad I got there in time and then-"

"It's okay" I croaked. "Thank you for saving me" Anyone could hear how unthankful I was. My words were completely empty, I wanted to die. _Too bad, _I thought to myself, _maybe I'll try again tonight._

She was so silent I thought she had left. And then she started talking again, quieter, but she was still talking.

"It's nice dying, eh? You feel like nothing really matters anymore and that you're finally free. It's so peaceful and blissful and I know exactly how you feel right now. I felt exactly the same way when the doctors ripped the knife out of my chest and restarted my heart. I kept trying to kill myself for the next little while, and it never really wore off, but I finally found reason for living and I guess that helped. I still wish I was dead"

She glanced at me and then kept going.

"The Games really mess you up. I actually won, but in the end, I wanted nothing more than to murder myself. No matter who wins the Games, everyone ends up dying. Just remember that, everyone eventually ends up dying. You were smart to try and die early."

With that she got up and walked out the door.

It was no more than three hours later when I finally ripped myself out of my bed. I threw on the ugly green dress the Capitol supplied, but I kept my other clothes on underneath. Couldn't risk those pesky tattoos poking out.

In the hall, I only met one person. Well, met is a bit of an understatement. I only crashed into and knocked over one person. That person was Emilie, the Avox who gave me chocolate on the first day. She stared at me shocked for moment and then, on a whim, I grabbed her and pushed her into an empty bedroom.

"Emilie" I panted, finding that my breath had all but disappeared. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault that you're a, you know, Avox" I could barely bring myself to say the word. "I wrecked your life and I'm so sorry. I just want to die because I was so cruel. I'm so sorry Emilie. You don't have to forgive me but-"

She silenced me by placing two of her thin fingers to my lips. She shook her head sadly.

I stared at her for another moment before I remembered something. I reached out to the back of my neck and unclasped a faded gold chain. I held it in my palm for a second before I handed it gently to Emilie, it's true owner.

She looked close to tears, and of course that caused my eyes to well up too.

"I know it can't possibly make everything up, but… is there anything else I can do?"

I didn't expect a reply, so it really shocked me when I heard her try to reply.

"Jelksssss" She coughed. She was turning blue, but her words still wouldn't come "pora teccccccccc heeep"

Her words were low and they rolled in the back of her throat and even though they sounded close to real words, I couldn't decipher them.

I started to cry so did she. She reached out for me, but she tripped on a piece of clothing that was lying on the floor. The side of a table scratched her neck and drew a little blood. I got down on my hands and knees and used both hand to try and clot the bleeding. She was still a little blue, but she managed to give me a watery smile.

We were so enclosed in our own little world that we didn't even notice when the door opened and a small body walked in. He did, however, catch our attention when he spoke in the same voice I heard an hour previous while I visited heaven.

"What are you doing? Let go of her! Is that… _Emilie?_"

**Alright, now you've got to review this chapter. I had to rewrite three times until I was satisfied with it and, believe me, it was hard work! Please show your love by dropping me a line.**

**Voila your quote:**

"_You're a spy!"_

**Lots of love,**

**KATE**


	6. Let me go

I suddenly saw myself through his eyes.

In his eyes, I was strangling her and I was killing her for the second time.

"Emilie! Emilie!" HE was screaming and crying at the same time. All the while he was trying to murder me.

He yanked my hair, slapped me and tried to strangle me all at the same time. His nails gouged into my right arm and drew blood. He also ripped the sleeves off my dress. Emilie tried to hold him back but he wouldn't stop. Not until he saw my tattoos.

Suddenly the world stopped spinning and everyone froze. They stared at my arm in shock.

My whole arm was covered in gold swirls and dots and my right wrist, which was facing up, had a large Capitol emblem imprinted on it.

"You're a spy!" Dawson shrieked. I'm sure that if Emilie could speak she would be saying the same thing.

I wanted to protest but I couldn't find the words to do so.

"Dawson took one look at me before he collapsed into a crumpled heap on the floor. He looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. His face was red and puffy and he had his hands over his ears like he was trying to block out some painful sound. He was writhing and shaking and I could tell that Emilie was torn between us. She wanted to attack me, but she also wanted to protect her brother.

But in the end, her love for her brother was stronger than her hatred for me. She scooped her brother up and deposited him into the bed. Then she turned on me and, looking apologetic, she tied my mouth shut with a piece of cloth and then shoved me into a small supply closet. I listened to the lock click and then I closed my eyes.

As I sat alone in the closet I began to devise my plan.

I started by pushing the heavy wooden shelf against the door. That was the only way I could block out Dawson's retches and cries. It was also the reason I had no idea people were running around looking for me a calling my name into empty corridors.

I then used bleach to try and get rid of my gold swirls. I decided to get rid of the Capitol emblem first. I poured bleach on it and then scrubbed it with a sponge. I hurt a lot, but it looked like the tattoo was fading a bit, so I didn't stop. But it really burned.

Finally the pain was too much, so I stopped and wrapped a towel around my sore wrist. That was when I noticed that I was still wearing Markus' ring around my finger. I tried to yank it off, but it wouldn't budge. I smacked it on the old radiator in the closet but it didn't want to come off. Finally I managed to crack it and I pulled it off slowly. The rigid edges cut my finger, but I was too far gone to notice or care.

I then bit off all my nails and chewed my chapped lips until they bled. Because I was locked in the closet, I got hardly any sleep and I ate nothing. Dark circles developed under my eyes. Dawson pulled out most of my hair and I ripped out the rest myself. I picked off all my scars and pressed on my bruises constantly so that it was impossible for them to heal over. It might sound strange, but I liked the pain and bruises, they were almost like battle scars. Except I hadn't been in battle yet.

I had been isolated in the closet for almost three days, and I was feeling fainter than I'd ever felt, when I decided to change the bandage on my wrist. I carefully removed the towel (which had been stained red) trying to brace myself for what my skin might look like. I expected raw, pink skin maybe blood or blisters. But I was sure that there would be no Capitol emblem.

Well, there wasn't a Capitol emblem. But my skin was in really bad shape. It was pussy, bloody, blistered and pink-black. Yuck.

It was so bad that I let out a bloodcurdling scream that was abruptly cut off as my stomach emptied itself.

It was in a pool of blood and vomit that June finally found me, clutching my wrist to my chest.

"Coral!" She cried, lifting me effortlessly and easily as if I was as light as a feather. It was like she didn't even notice what I was soaked with. I guess she had experience holding her breath.

As she ran down the down the hall, with me cradled in her arms like a baby, she tried to soothe me by speaking calming and gently.

"Shh, it's okay Coral. It's going to be okay. Just keep breathing. That's right, kid. We're almost there, just keep breathing"

I drew in a jagged breath and had to remind myself to blow out. _In, out, in, out, in, out, in… out. _

_In, out, in our, in out, in…_

This time I forgot to breathe out and June had to smack me on the back hard to get me to keep breathing.

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally reached a stale room where a group of medics were cleaning a table. There were blood on the sheets.

"Quick!" June called, calm even in the most terrible situations. "She needs help! Now!"

Somebody jabbed me in the arm with something and I was out in seconds.

When I woke up, a medic was reading my injury list to June.

"Skin poisoning, Collapsed stomach, Tissue scarring, Bone Bruising, Infected Appendix, Juniper! This list is way too long. I don't know what we'll do! She'll die right away in the Games! She will bore the Capitol out of their minds! There's nothing interesting left about her! All her good looks are gone and I wouldn't be surprised if she's becomes even more depressed. She'll probably just end up killing herself in the Games. She's ugly and stupid and I say we send her straight to the hospital!"

The medic reached out and ran her fingers along my inner wrist (where the emblem used to be),

"Look at this scarring. I don't think it'll ever heal. And it's self-inflicted too"

She began to trail her fingers up my arm, but June slapped her hand away and pulled down my sleeve. Hiding my tattoos.

"Her skin's sensitive, you'll hurt her!" June snapped. "I think we're done here. You can leave, don't worry, I'll stay here with her."

"I don't think that-"

"Go!"

I heard the scraping of a chair and then the sound of a door being slammed shut.

"Humph" June grumbled.

I opened my eyes groggily.

"June?" I asked, wobbling slightly.

"Yeah, kid?" She whispered, cradling my face.

"I'm sorry" I whispered back, tears running down my face.

"Don't be, Coral."

I touched my sleeve "Do you know?"

"About the marks?" She waited for me to nod "Yeah, so what?"

"Don't you think I'm a spy?"

"No"

"Aren't you going to turn me in to the Capitol?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't care"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hey, kid? You can tell me how you got them if you like, but you don't have to. I'm just glad you pulled through"

"My mom was from the Capitol" I started shakily. June gave me my time. "My dad was from District 2. I only live in the Capitol for a week, but while I was there Mom had me all tattooed in gold. She also permanently died my hair dark blue. She was a past stylist from the Games, and she swore on her reputation that I looked as stylish as can be. We moved to District 12 shortly after that. Mom always has me covered from head to toe, and I always had to have my hair covered." I began to choke but I kept going, I had to get it all out "My only friend was Markus, I thought we were in love."

It was at this point that I had to stop because I couldn't go on any further.

June put her arm around my shoulder and wiped away my tears with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry" She whispered "I didn't know" She took a deep breath before she continued. "We've been on this train for about a week and in a half an hour we'll reach the training center. Before we get there you're going to have to be measured, checked and styled by your stylists. We'll see them in about ten minutes. I'd brace yourself if I were you."

She smiled sympathetically.

"Right." I muttered "The Beauty Showdown"

**So! As you can imagine, things are finally starting to heat up! It's getting better, right? I hope so! I'm not getting a lot out of your review so I ask selfishly for more. Thanks! Oh, and I know things have been pretty dark lately, but next chapter is where Coral reinvents herself. This is where the real story begins.**

**Oh, and here's your quote:**

_I was about to push the door open when I heard a sound that made my heart stop. A small boy's sob._

**_See you soon!_**

**KATE**


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